Relationship Development

Relationship Development

Researchers have studied relationships to understand how they develop. One of the most popular models for understanding relationship development is Mark Knapp's Relational Stages Model¹⁵. Knapp's model works well to describe many types of relationships: romantic couples, friends, busines partners, roommates, etc. Other models have also been discussed. For instance, Stephen Duck's Relationship Filtering Model¹⁶ is another way of looking at how relationships begin. Read about these models and then complete an interactive activity and short quiz to test your knowledge.

Knapp's Relationship Escalation Model

Initiation This stage is very short, sometimes as short as 10-15 seconds. In this stage, interactants are concerned with making favorable impressions on each other. They may use standard greetings or observe each other's appearance or mannerisms.

Experimenting In the next stage, individuals ask questions of each other in order to gain information about them and decide if they wish to continue the relationship. "Many relationships progress no further than this point" ¹⁷.

Intensifying Self-disclosure becomes more common in the intensifying stage. The relationship becomes less formal, the interactants begin to see each other as individuals, and statements are made about the level of commitment each has to the relationship.

Integrating The individuals become a pair in the integrating stage. They begin to do things together and, importantly, others come to see them as a pair. A shared relational identity starts to form in this stage.

Bonding During the bonding stage, a formal, sometimes legal, announcement of the relationship is made. Examples include a marriage, "best friend" ritual, or business partnership agreement. Few relationships reach this level.

Duck's Relationship Filtering Model

Sociological/Incidental Cues Duck's model is a set of filters through which we make choices about the level of relationship we wish to pursue with others. The first filter, socioligical/incidental cues, describes the constraints placed on our meeting people due to where we live or work. In other words, given our sociological location, there are some people we see a lot of and others we never meet.

Preinteraction Cues Information we gain about people before we even interact with them leads us to exclude or include individuals with whom we wish to have a relationship. For instance, the appearance of some individuals will cause you to avoid or approach them.

Interaction Cues As we begin to interact with others, we make judgments about whether to include or exclude them from possible relationships.

Cognitive Cues At the deepest level, we make judgments about people based on their personality and the degree to which we think it will match ours. As others reach this level, we consider them "best friends."

Knapp's Relationship Termination Model

Differentiating In this stage, partners begin to stress the "me" instead of the "we." In other words, the individuals begin to assert their independence. They may develop different hobbies or activities. The relationship may continue to dissolve, or this stage may be a warning sign that the couple needs to address their relationship status.

Circumscribing Communication between the couple diminishes during this stage. They tend to avoid certain topics of discussion. Outwardly, the couple appears normal. At this stage, attempts can be made to discuss the relationship and return it to a positive state.

Stagnating During the stagnating stage, the individuals avoid discussing the relationship because they think they know what the other will say. Others begin to take notice that something is wrong.

Avoiding The pair begins to physically separate themselves during the avoiding stage. The individuals try to reduce the opportunities for discussion.

Terminating This is the final stage of the relationship. Termination may come naturally, such as at the end of the semester when roommates move out, or arbitrarily, through divorce. Termination of the relationship can occur positively or negatively.

Interactive Activity

Quick Quiz

Small Group Communication | Interpersonal Communication | Teaching Resources | References

Content author: Tim Borchers, Moorhead State University
Technical questions: ab_webmaster@abacon.com
Interested in contributing to this website? CAlperAB@aol.com

©1999 Allyn & Bacon

Initiation	This stage is very short, sometimes as short as 10-15 seconds. In this stage, interactants are concerned with making favorable impressions on each other. They may use standard greetings or observe each other's appearance or mannerisms.
Experimenting	In the next stage, individuals ask questions of each other in order to gain information about them and decide if they wish to continue the relationship. "Many relationships progress no further than this point" ¹⁷.
Intensifying	Self-disclosure becomes more common in the intensifying stage. The relationship becomes less formal, the interactants begin to see each other as individuals, and statements are made about the level of commitment each has to the relationship.
Integrating	The individuals become a pair in the integrating stage. They begin to do things together and, importantly, others come to see them as a pair. A shared relational identity starts to form in this stage.
Bonding	During the bonding stage, a formal, sometimes legal, announcement of the relationship is made. Examples include a marriage, "best friend" ritual, or business partnership agreement. Few relationships reach this level.

Sociological/Incidental Cues	Duck's model is a set of filters through which we make choices about the level of relationship we wish to pursue with others. The first filter, socioligical/incidental cues, describes the constraints placed on our meeting people due to where we live or work. In other words, given our sociological location, there are some people we see a lot of and others we never meet.
Preinteraction Cues	Information we gain about people before we even interact with them leads us to exclude or include individuals with whom we wish to have a relationship. For instance, the appearance of some individuals will cause you to avoid or approach them.
Interaction Cues	As we begin to interact with others, we make judgments about whether to include or exclude them from possible relationships.
Cognitive Cues	At the deepest level, we make judgments about people based on their personality and the degree to which we think it will match ours. As others reach this level, we consider them "best friends."

Differentiating	In this stage, partners begin to stress the "me" instead of the "we." In other words, the individuals begin to assert their independence. They may develop different hobbies or activities. The relationship may continue to dissolve, or this stage may be a warning sign that the couple needs to address their relationship status.
Circumscribing	Communication between the couple diminishes during this stage. They tend to avoid certain topics of discussion. Outwardly, the couple appears normal. At this stage, attempts can be made to discuss the relationship and return it to a positive state.
Stagnating	During the stagnating stage, the individuals avoid discussing the relationship because they think they know what the other will say. Others begin to take notice that something is wrong.
Avoiding	The pair begins to physically separate themselves during the avoiding stage. The individuals try to reduce the opportunities for discussion.
Terminating	This is the final stage of the relationship. Termination may come naturally, such as at the end of the semester when roommates move out, or arbitrarily, through divorce. Termination of the relationship can occur positively or negatively.