Relational Patterns
Relational Patterns
As relationships progress, patterns of interactions take shape that we may not recognize. This section describes some of these patterns. Complete the interactive activity at the end of the unit and then take a quiz to test your knowledge.
| Rigid Role Relations | There are two basic types of behaviors in relationships: dominance and submissiveness. Dominance is often referred to as one-up, while submissiveness, one-down. In some relationships, the two are complementary--one individual is one-up, the other one-down--and the relationship is rewarding. Other relationships are symmetrical, where both parties are one-up or both are one-down. Problems can result when individuals feel trapped by their role as the dominant or submissive member of the relationship. Flexibility can help both partners enjoy the relationship. |
| Disconfirmations |
Whenever we communicate with someone else, we open ourselves up for rejection. The other individual can accept what we say or reject what we say. Researcher Evelyn Sieburg19 has identified seven "disconfirming" responses that reject the other individual.
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| Spirals | A third type of relational pattern is a spiral. "In a spiral, one partner's behavior intensifies that of the other"20. Spirals can be progressive, in which one partner's behavior leads to increasing levels of satisfaction for the other. Spirals can also be regressive, where one partner's communication leads to increasing dissatisfaction. Stopping regressive spirals from getting out of control depends on the open communication between the two individuals. |
| Dependencies and Counterdependencies | A final type of relational pattern is dependencies and counterdependencies. In a dependency relationship, one individual sees himself or herself relying on another person for something. Soon, he or she agrees with whatever the other says or does. In a counterdependency, one individual sees himself or herself as not being dependent on the other. Thus, he or she disagrees with the other quite frequently. |
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