Par-ants Weekend

Swarms of ants descended on the Duke community this weekend, wreaking havoc on the University store and devouring most of the food available at Sunday morning brunch at the Marketplace.

Yellow journalism? Only to a slight degree. You see, it was Parents' Weekend (or as my good friend Nathalie referred to it, "Par-ants" Weekend.) It was a truly amazing experience to see about 6,000 older people wandering around campus like freshmen, desperately looking for maps of the campus and following their children in herds. They really did look like ants scurrying about.

Then there were my parents, who were determined to "work" like ants. The minute my mom stepped in my room, she had an overwhelming urge to clean it. "Mary, can I run the vacuum? Can I hang up your clothes? Can I scrub any traces of radioactive moldy cheese from the bottom of your refrigerator?"

Of course, I didn't want that to happen. I figure it doesn't matter if my homework is tossed in the hamper if I know where it is. That's not messy, that's organized, and if my mom moves anything, I won't know where to find it. So to counteract the possibility of my parents coming within 5 miles of cleaning my room, I dragged them to every athletic event available: football (we lost), soccer (we lost), basketball (we won... but it was an inter-team scrimmage.) It almost worked. They were pretty tired after putting up with obnoxious Duke sports fans from two o'clock in the afternoon to nine in the evening.

Duke put on a number of parent-oriented events, aside from the athletic ones. I couldn't help but notice that the food tasted a little better this weekend. For one thing, on regular weekends we don't have shrimp and salmon for brunch. The University also conveniently made Duke merchandise available on every square inch of campus, so our parents could spend even MORE than the $30,000 they sacrifice on tuition every year! Woo hoo!

Yes, the University loves our parents. And so do I. It was pretty cool to see them... especially since they bought me the new Duke basketball poster. ;)

Well, it's a short column this week. Since I was so busy keeping my parents away from my room, I didn't have much time to do the hellish math lab I've been putting off or the paper that's due Tuesday. So if ya need to reach me, look in the library... or anywhere they serve coffee. I'm outta here.

The Countdown 8/25/97

Moving in 9/1/97

Going to Class 9/8/97

Rated PG 9/15/97

Athletes Foot in Mouth 9/22/97

Shaken Not Stirred 9/29/97

Sleeping with the Enemy 10/6/97

Withdrawal Symptoms 10/13/97

Why Duke? 10/20/97

Par-ants Weekend 10/27/97

Halloween 11/3/97

Who Am I? 11/10/97

Travel Guide 11/17/97

Gimmee a Break 11/24/97

Thank You 12/1/97

Campus Camp-out 12/8/97

Apply Yourself 12/15/97

Rushing Back to School 1/26/98

Chi-Omega Land 2/2/98

Aply Yourself #2 2/9/98

Three Month Itch 2/16/98

School Daza 2/23/98

Politics and Popularity 3/2/98

They Came They Saw, They Choked 3/9/98

Dating at Duke 3/16/98

Weekly Update 3/30/98

Beep Beep 4/6/98

Extra,Extra 4/13/98

Room to Move 4/20/98

End of the Innocense 4/27/98

Help Me 5/1/98

The Last Hurrah 5/8/98