First Year Focus

I Am Who I Am...But Who Am I?

In the column entitled Athlete's Foot-in-Mouth, I mentioned an article called "Duke Must Choose an Identity."

Something is wrong with that title. I think before the college starts making that decision, its students need to do the same.

That's partially what the college experience is all about. A p-frosh who was staying with friends said she thought Duke was too homogenous, that there really weren't that many different personality types here. I think she didn't look hard enough. The variety here is incredible, perhaps because Duke is selective in that way. The admissions committee is looking for people who don't blend into the woodwork. But there are ways to classify people here, and finding a place within that hierarchy can be a challenging experience.

There are obviously some of the same divisions here that are found in high school. Jocks are jocks, whatever that means. Not that the exact stereotype applies here - everyone is pretty intelligent, and the main reason that sports guys stick together is because they spend so much time with each other to begin with in practice. But there's also the corresponding female stereotype, the "sorority girl." I went to Rush previews today, and I will admit, a lot of those girls looked like the same people. But they were animated, interesting, friendly girls, and I really liked the ones I met. They seemed pretty genuine to me. So what looks shallow to some may not be that way in reality.

Then you have the intellectuals. At a recent Philosophy Society meeting (yes, it's a "Society," not a club,) one girl walked in with a complete beatnik look - a beret, dressed in all black, natural hair and no makeup. Many people think of that I'm-better-than-Harvard-and-I'm-certainly-smarter-than-you type when they think of selective schools, and we certainly have our share of those people. But there were others at the Philosophy meeting. There were blond girls in barn jackets, guys in t-shirts and jeans, and even a few who could definitely qualify as "un-intellectual." Oh, and I was there as well. So you certainly can't stereotype the organization.

And yes, we have Marilyn Manson fans. We have California-blond girls who are black belts in tae kwan do. We have nude models. We have pretty much anyone else you could ask for. So I'd hardly say we're homogenous.

The problem is, we sometimes try to make ourselves that way, because no matter how much we deny it, we all want to belong to a group. It's a natural human impulse - ever heard of the herd instinct? Finding that place is a tough and trying thing to accomplish. My solution is expansion. That's the way I've always been. I have a number of groups, and if I feel like showing one side of my personality, I'll hang with the corresponding "clique." I have a cynical group, a chilled-out group, a wild party group, an intellectual group, and many, many more. Perhaps that's the answer to the identity question, which coincidentally is one we've been puzzling over for the last few weeks in my philosophy class.

But my methods might not work for everyone. And maybe that's the problem. Choosing an identity is a completely individual thing. So to those of you who are still looking for that identity, I can't give you any advice, except to keep trying, and not to limit yourself. Try everything. Carpe diem. And no matter what it means, for God's sake, be yourself.