KnowYourself

Self-Assessment

Safety, Injuries and Violence

Can You Help Survivors of Homicide?

Directions


Indicate which of the following ways you would try to help a survivor of homicide:
 

Yes  No 1. Allow survivors to grieve in whatever manner they wish and for as long as they wish.
Yes  No 2. Allow survivors to cry freely. It is a healthy expression of grief and releases tensions.
Yes  No 3. Allow survivors to talk about and personalize the victim. Let him or her tell you about the victim, his or her life and the murder. Allow the survivor to criticize the victim and to talk about the good times and the bad times.
Yes  No 4. Say things like:   "I understand."  "It sounds like..."   "I'm glad you can share those feelings."   "You're lucky that...."  "Don't worry, it's going to be alright."
Yes  No 5. Allow survivors to get angry at you, the criminal justice system, the criminal, the victim, or simply the unfairness of  life. Anger needs to be expressed.
Yes  No 6. Remember the survivors at holiday times, on the anniversary date of the murder and the victim's birthday. Let the survivors know you remember, too.
Yes  No 7. Allow the survivors some occasional "time out" from day-to-day pressures.
Yes  No 8. Reassure the survivors that the murder was neither their fault, nor the victim's fault.
Yes  No 9. Tell survivors that crime is simply a part of life and that they need to accept it.
Yes  No 10. Support survivors in their efforts to reconstruct a life, even if it means a major change in lifestyle.
Yes  No 11. Let survivors know that you will remain their friend and they mean a great deal to you.
Yes  No 12. Make sure the victims/survivors feel safe and/or secure.
Yes  No 13. Give victims permission to express any reactions and respond in a non-judgmental manner. Say: "You have a right to be upset over this tragedy, so don't be afraid to tell me what you are thinking."
Yes  No 14. Respond to the victim's need for nurturing by allowing the victim to become dependent.
Yes  No 15. Initially take care of practical things that need to be done, but are temporarily beyond the victim's ability to accomplish.
Yes  No 16. Offer to provide child care, help with transportation, make telephone calls, etc. Be specific in making such offers so that the victim can simply respond "yes" or "no."
Yes  No 17. Assist survivors in re-establishing a sense of control over the small things in his or her life, then move on to larger ones.
Yes  No 18. Ask the victim to describe his or her reaction and responses. As the victim begins the description, validate the reactions and responses.
Yes No 19. Ask the victim to describe what has happened since the crime, including contact with family members, friends, the criminal justice system, and so on.
Yes  No 20. Ask the victim to describe other reactions he or she has experienced up to now. Then, validate reactions.
Yes  No 21. Let the victim talk for as long as he or she would like and as your time allows for you to listen.
Yes  No 22. Say things like:   "You are safe now" (if true).  "I am sorry it happened."  "I'm glad you're talking with me now."
Yes  No 23. Don't assume anything, even if the apparent pattern of the crisis reaction is suspect. (For example, the victim's controlled calm of the moment may yield to tears in a few minutes.)

Scoring

“Yes” responses to items 1 - 3, 5 - 8, and 10 - 13, 15 - 23 and “No” responses to items 4, 9 and 14, indicate that you can be helpful to survivors of homicide.

Source

This checklist was developed from information provided in the 1998 National Victim Assistance Academy by Jane N. Burnley, Christine Edmunds, Mario T. Gaboury, and Anne Seymour (Eds.)
Office for Victims of Crime, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice available at:  http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/assist/nvaa/ch16hom.htm
 

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Copyright 1999.
Judith A. Baker
All Rights Reserved.