The Writing of Business Wordiness Exercise

Tighten the following sentences. Write your revisions in the spaces provided between the lines of text, using carets (^) to show additions and crossing out words you wish to omit.

As you tighten these sentences, pay particular attention to such wordiness patterns as expletives (it is, there is, there are, etc.), passive verbs, prepositional phrases, relative pronouns (which, that, who), and articles (a, an, the).

1. By taking the time to notify these regulatory agencies, a favorable

   impression is created since it indicates that our desire to cooperate is strong.

2. A new tax relief law is necessary for small businesses.

3. There are three reasons why Gansett should acquire Adolph's.

4. Your fine Smythe products were sent by UPS and will be delivered

   right to your door at absolutely no charge to you.

5. Management is concerned about problems that may arise in the future.

6. We have been advised by the Accounting Department that they have no

   record of our having been reimbursed by Might Mo Haulers for these

   freight bills.

7. I believe that there is a need to update our present record-keeping

   system by evaluating our records now.

8. Things are seen by the normal human eye in three dimensions: length,

   width, and depth.

9. The committee was analyzing the ten-year forecast.

10. By having accurate and up-to-date figures, the bookkeeping department

    can answer customer inquiries efficiently, allowing more time to prepare

    check statements.

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